Natural Family Planning: From Prehistory to Modern Times (2019 Update)

Long before the development of the Pill -- seen as the biggest factor in women’s liberation and health -- the study of female fertility had made strides in understanding the menstrual cycle. Sadly, this history is overlooked precisely because of the industry surrounding artificial birth control, and because of this I wanted to share something that we should have made mainstream a long time ago.

Funnily enough, this particular article came about in my social sphere just a couple days after I began drafting for the original post. Regarding the sexist and racist history of birth control development, it spurred me to work even harder on sharing NFP's long history of studying and refining our understanding of our natural, God-given fertility.

Even better, this particular timeline is now updated! It’s crazy how much one can learn, even after discovering so much already. Just goes to show how underappreciated and misunderstood this topic is in modern times.

By contrasting the dark secrets of birth control history to that of NFP's enlightenment, I hope that it inspires women and couples who read this to reconsider their family planning and health options!

Prehistory

Prehistoric birth control is an under-appreciated topic, but we do have some clues as to what our foremothers and fathers used to space children. Aside from herbal abortions and alternative sex acts, families also heavily relied on breastfeeding. When breastfeeding is practiced a specific way (known as ecological breastfeeding), children can be spaced by as much as 3-5 years. This can be seen today in various hunter-gatherer societies, such as the !Kung people of Africa, or the Gainj tribe in Papua New Guinea. Breastfeeding itself is not fertility awareness, but it is likely that women saw the connection between frequent suckling of their infant/child, and their apparent inability to get pregnant.

As for objective observations of fertility signs: it is likely some societies at least understood the connection between the production of cervical mucus and pregnancy. Even today, grandmothers of the Bantu culture will teach their granddaughters about the role of the slippery secretions they make in bearing children, to better time intercourse for pregnancy. Dr. Evelyn Billings — co-creator of the Billings Ovulation Method for fertility management — also spoke of similar practices among hunter-gatherer societies, who live much the same way that their prehistoric ancestors did:

Many women around the world have discovered the significance of the mucus themselves and used it as a sign of their fertility or infertility long before scientific proofs became available. Several African tribal groups including the Taita, Kamba and Luo are known to have done so for generations; as have some Indigenous Australian communities.

This specific correlation made between secretions and pregnancy was an ancient prologue to the charting of cervical mucus as we know it today. Slippery mucus = fertility.  Not just science, but also ancient wisdom! And what a wonderful wisdom to have again after centuries of losing it.

Outside of cervical mucus, there was also the strong yet “mysterious” connection between menstruation and the ability to conceive. We often see this in cultures, both dead and alive, that celebrate a girl’s ascension into adulthood (and by default, the ability to reproduce) whenever she reaches Menarche (her first period bleed). It would make sense that our ancestors would have made this connection very early on, as is evidenced with various menstrual taboos and practices seen around the world today.

However, it would be many centuries before people better understood menstrual bleeding’s connection to female fertility and overall health, as well of that of cervical mucus and also breastfeeding.

Modern Times

Now we make a huge jump! After humans developed civilizations and gradually became more urbanized, much of our connection to our primal fertility was understandably lost. Interestingly enough, more in-depth studies of fertility -- especially that of women -- began in the 19th Century, during the Industrial Revolution. 

And even today, such study progresses. The mystery of the menstrual cycle and fertility has been uplifted, and NFP as we know it keeps getting better and better.

19th Century

1855 -- W. Tyler Smith observes that cervical mucus aids in transportation of sperm.

1868 -- J. Marim Sims first describes fertile cervical mucus as having an egg-white quality. He noted that it was crucial to study this further, so as to discern whether these secretions could affect survival of sperm within the woman’s reproductive tract.

         -- Dr W. Squire also discovers that women have biphasic temperature patterns throughout their reproductive life, as does Dr. Mary Putnam Jacobi in 1876 (A biphasic temperature pattern is when low temperatures jump up and remain high until they drop down lower again around menstruation). However, no connection was given to ovulation.

20th Century

1905 -- Dutch gynecologist Hendrick Van de Velde discovers the connection between ovulation and the biphasic temperature pattern. He also notes that the time between ovulation and menstruation is almost always consistent, no matter the length of the rest of the menstrual cycle.

1923 -- Japanese doctor Kyusaku Ogino made the discovery that ovulation occurs at a relatively consistent time before a woman menstruates: meaning that menstrual periods only occurred once an egg was released.  This would lead to the development of the Calendar Rhythm Method, using past cycles to calculate future days of fertility in a woman’s cycle. (Dr. Hermann Knaus would also independently make this discovery in 1929)

1926 -- Previously mentioned, Van de Velde discovers even more details about the post-ovulation phase of the cycle (now called the luteal phase). He shows that the corpus luteum (the leftover sac that held the egg before ovulation) was responsible for causing the biphasic temperature change from low to high. He also observed the occurrence of cervical mucus and intermentstrual pain around the time of a thermal shift.

1929 -- Catholic priest and physician Fr. Wilhelm Hillebrand begins to develop a practical temperature-based method of fertility awareness for his parishioners to use in avoiding pregnancy. By 1935, he creates this new method by combining temperature-taking with Calendar Rhythm.

1930s -- Dr. Rudolf Vollman develops the “Mean Basal Body Temperature Rule”, a temperature-only method to determine when ovulation occurs.

1950s -- Dr. Jan Holt develops the concept of "the post-ovulation infertile time begins when there are three temps higher than the previous six lower ones."  Dr. Gerd Döring uses this new concept to create the "earliest Six Last Low" rule to use temperature taking as a way to determine the start of fertility as well as it's end within the menstrual cycle.

1951 -- Dr. Josef Roetzer develops the sympto-thermal method, which combines temperature taking and a crude version of mucus observation. He refines his mucus observation technique in 1965 and also incorporates the observation of vaginal sensation.

1952 -- Dr. MR Cohen develops a detailed schemata on mucus traits, and how they relate to the length of survival of sperm within the reproductive tract. This would later be used as a basis for the future mucus only method, the Creighton Model System.

1962 -- Dr. Edward Keefe publishes observations of cervical changes in relation to ovulation. This knowledge will later be refined by other NFP advocates and doctors including the Couple to Couple League, SERENA, and Dr. Josef Roetzer.

1968 -- British neurologist Dr. John Marshall does field trials of the temp shift along with other scientists (starting in the forties), but is the first to develop a practical and easy method that can be simple enough to use by the common couple to differentiate low temperatures from highs, indicating when the infertile luteal phase begins.

1969 -- Sheila Kippley publishes her book Breastfeeding and Natural Child Spacing. It delves into how ecological breastfeeding can delay the return of fertility after childbirth, and the parenting practices involved to make it happen.

1970 -- Dr. V. Insler published a system that would differentiate the varying types of cervical mucus a woman could observe in her cycle.

1971 -- The Couple to Couple League, a Catholic organization that teaches the sympto-thermal method, is founded by Sheila Kippley and her husband John Kippley. They publish their first book on the method the following year.

1973 -- Drs. John and Evelyn Billings, using a mucus rating system similar to that of Insler's, fully develop a mucus-only method of NFP called the Billings Method. Although this method came out in the 70s, they had been studying NFP since 1954.

1974 -- Louise Lacey publishes her book Lunaception, which goes over how one can use light elimination techniques to normalize the menstrual cycle in order to "make the rhythm method work". She also (inaccurately) incorporates the use of temperature-based and mucus-based methods as well, making it somewhat like the Calender-Thermal Method of the 30s but more complicated and inaccurate. Still, this was one of the earliest secular books written on natural alternatives to birth control.

1980 -- SymptoPro's instructional approach -- based on Dr. Roetzer's work -- is officially approved by the doctor himself. They had been teaching, with the doctor's permission, since 1977. (Also the organization that this blog author teaches through!)

1985 -- After studying the Billings method and forming the Creighton Model System of NFP in the late 70s, Dr. Thomas W. Hilgers opens the Pope Paul VI Institute. This establishment would be the starting point of developing medically and scientifically based alternatives to ART procedures and artificial birth control for women's health.

1990s -- Nurses and physicians at Marquette University develop a new system of NFP that utilizes hormonal fertility monitors (specifically, Clear Blue Easy) and mucus observations. Today it is known as the Marquette Method.

1995 -- Toni Weschler, MPH, would start a secular grassroots movement for fertility awareness when publishing her first edition of Taking Charge of Your Fertility. Today many non-Catholic NFP groups and movements point to her book as their inspiration or starting point, although her methodology is not as accurate.

21st Century

2000s — Still, Weshcler’s work spurred other secular groups such as Red Tent Sisters and Fertility Friday to form up and spread fertility awareness to women at large. Other organizations, such as FEMM Health and Justisse sprang up to teach variations of the mucus only methods.

Around the second decade of the new millennium, many apps began coming out into the market relating to tracking periods and -- you guessed it -- charting menstrual cycles. Some predict fertility for you, some have the option of predicting it, and others are bonafide, digital charting. Most NFP organizations offer charting apps, or charting online, with a way to contact your instructor there should there be any questions.

Another great step forward with fertility awareness as a whole, was the development of fertility monitors. Clear Blue Easy is the most well-known brand for helping show when ovulation is approaching through hormone levels in urine, but as of late a few independent start ups have gone above and beyond that. I actually made a post here about the various fertility monitors on the market or those about to be. They go from simple to complex, and each are unique to what fertile sign they track and how. Even now, I keep seeing ads for new fertility tech I have never heard of before!

The 21st Century has also seen the spread of pro-fertility medicine, such as Natural Procreative Technology (as developed by Dr. Hilgers); more women seek natural options for their reproductive health as well, seeking out the aid of herbalists, naturopathic doctors, Traditional Chinese Medicine, and more. Women want more than just artificial hormones, IVF, and hysterectomy to help them with their ailments and demand better care.  Organizations -- such as The Guiding Star Project, Natural Womanhood, and FACTS about Fertility -- help with the spread of these wholesome options that seek to nourish fertility and work with NFP as a diagnostic tool, rather than to override or belittle normal health.

It seems then, that our present is focused on sharing this knowledge and making it more accessible as well as working to make it the new normal. We have our NFP methods and ways to use it for health: now it's all about reminding people that these (much better) options exist!

The Future

From lactating and child spacing to using apps and fertility monitors to track our cycles, humanity has made large strides in recent history to better understand and even appreciate fertility. This has reached even the medical sphere, giving women truly wholesome and respectful healthcare whether for infertility treatment, or for overall body literacy. Also, as stated above, NFP advocacy is gaining ground and working hard to spread awareness of these amazing choices.

So where do we go from here? 

Personally, I believe the next step is not just to educate the adult masses: but to make NFP the cultural norm for future generations. NFP should be as well known as birth control; fertility awareness should be body literacy shared and encouraged in basic health education; doctors should know just as much about charting as they do about putting in an IUD. Fertility awareness needs to be the basis for women’s and men’s health, to better serve people in their quest for safe and effective family planning, as well as informing them of their needs and options concerning reproductive health.

From what I have experienced and seen, we need to start passing the torch not just to younger adult advocates, teachers, and doctors: but to our very children.  As we work to teach adults about their options, we must work so that the youth already know of these options once they are of reproductive age. Imagine a world where a teen girl can bring in a simple chart to her doctor for her check ups, where a teenage boy can understand how his own fertility is a huge responsibility in the act of pregnancy: where a man or woman living on their own for the first time already know what so many older adults today do not!

In short, humanity's future needs what NFP can offer: and NFP's future within humanity relies on people speaking up for this reality as a normal part of our culture.

We've got the know how, we've got the tech, and we've got the voice. Let's make some use of it.

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References

(Note: you may have to google some organizations mentioned as I did not find it necessary to link directly to them)

Books:

A Couple’s Guide to Fertility (Chapter Seven: Background Information)

Taking Charge of Your Fertility (Epilogue)

The NaProTechnology Revolution (Chapter 1: Dissent and Discovery)

Lunaception: A Feminine Odyssey

Breastfeeding and Natural Child Spacing

The Seven Standards of Ecological Breastfeeding

Prehistory of Sex

The Billings Method: Using the body’s natural signal of fertility to achieve or avoid pregnancy (chapter 1)

Studies:

Gainj Women and Child-Spacing

!Kung Women and Child-Spacing

Cervical Mucus in Infertile Women

Online Sources:

SymptoPro's History Page

Fertility Friend’s “A brief history of fertility charting”

The Development of Natural Family Planning

"Oops, I'm Pregnant!" Dealing with a Surprise Pregnancy while using NFP

Note: I will be writing this from the prospective of a woman, and aiming my audience to women as well, for simplicity's sake.  But do not worry: I do not pretend that fathers do not exist. :)

Nothing says “surprise!” like a “surprise” pregnancy, am I right? 

Maybe you were using your NFP method.  Maybe you didn’t.  Or, maybe you usually do, but for one reason or another: you didn’t follow the rules correctly, or at all!  Perhaps you sincerely followed a piece of advice -- whether based on fact or not -- and it failed you.

Whatever the case, unexpected pregnancies can flip your world upside down once you find out.  And stressful enough as it is, you also have to deal with the stigma surrounding this “mistake”.  Nosy friends, overbearing family members, and even a shocked or upset spouse only makes it more difficult for the pregnant mother to process her feelings and formulate her next move.

Firstly, in case no one has told you this yet:

There is nothing wrong with you if you become pregnant, even if by “accident”.

Biologically speaking?  It’s normal to conceive a new human life after sexual intercourse.  After all, it's how the human species reproduces.  It's how our bodies were designed.  It doesn’t matter if you were using NFP or not, or even a method of artificial birth control: it's all a matter of action (intercourse) and consequence (pregnancy). 

So honestly: you’re fine!  Your body is only doing what is natural in the circumstances, and our fertility is nothing to be ashamed of.  Any pregnancy - planned or not -- simply means that the reproductive system is healthy and working the way it should.  Do not be ashamed, because there is no shame in your body being able to function normally!

With that body acceptance speech now finished, you return to your initial obstacle: handling your pregnancy in a healthy way.  Many factors can add onto or lessen your stress in taking your next step, so let us review them in hopes that it will guide you towards stability.

Give yourself time to process the news

Once you confirm the news with a pregnancy test, it will take time to sink in.  Should I tell my spouse?  My mom?  Boss?  Friend?  Doctor?

Simply put: tell them when you are ready.  And you will probably want to tell each person at a different time, or even not at all.  Once you are able to know how you feel about the news yourself, it will be easier handling the delivery to others.  The last thing you need when you feel the most vulnerable and impressionable is to let others influence your thinking.

To settle down your feelings, write a list, journal entry: whatever you like, explaining how you feel.  Make one about bad feelings you have, and another about good feelings.  Write out positives and negatives that can come from this experience, or even questions you have about how to handle this time in your life.  Perhaps you could write an imaginary letter to the baby, if it helps you connect with him/her and calm down.

Also use this time to figure out when to tell your place of work (if you are employed). Find out what their pregnancy and parenting policies are. Find out what maternity leave will be like, how you can extend it through other ways, and even if they have support for pumping mothers (for those who breastfeed). Once you know what is and isn't on your side, you can give the news to your employer with confidence.

Concerning prenatal care: Assuming you are still very early in your pregnancy when you find out, and you do not have medical conditions that are worsened during pregnancy, generally you will not need to seek an appointment right away from a provider.  Prenatal care will not be necessary until roughly 7-9 weeks along, though you should decide when to call to set up an appointment ahead of time.  Otherwise, make sure you are eating well and start taking prenatal vitamins when you can!

Talk to your significant other

Some spouses may be shocked, but not upset, at the news of a surprise baby.  Others may be bitter, or even angry, at the prospect.  This is especially true if you had very serious reasons to avoid a pregnancy, or have had relationship strains for any reason.  Give them time to process, just as you had time to process it as well.  Remind yourself and him that this is a team effort to work through: you both made this baby with your combined fertility, and now you will both eventually find a way to welcome this baby into your lives.  You can do it!

Neither of you have to pretend to be happy about the pregnancy, but at the very least: do not finger point at one another or the baby! (Remember how I mentioned that pregnancy is a normal consequence of sex?  Keep that in mind when either of you feel the urge to "blame" someone). Now is the time to seek solutions together as a family.  Like all difficulties in life, "this too shall pass".

If, after some time, your spouse is still hostile about the pregnancy, and refuses to try and work it out with you, seek another support system for yourself. This is especially true if they pressure for an unwanted abortion.  Pregnancy is hard going through alone and you need support. (I list resources at the end) Seek counseling if you believe communication about your pregnancy is still going no where, even if you have to go alone; even a trusted friend can be there for you for both supporting the pregnancy and trying to smooth out woes. Obtaining the services of a doula or mother group is also a good way to find encouragement during this time.

Find out how the pregnancy happened

You may or may not care about why the pregnancy occurred; some people, after all, are very open to any children they receive after the initial shock, or find that it won't change anything one way or another.

However, half of all unplanned pregnancies occur when the couple was using a birth control method (as stated often by the Guttmacher Institute). If you were using a specific NFP method, you and your spouse may be worried that another surprise could happen again if you resume its use after baby is born.  This is where a pregnancy referral with an NFP instructor comes in.  They can give you some answers about the "why?!", and give you a sense of control.  By having this information, you and your partner can make informed decisions on family planning in the future.

You can get a referral from the same instructor who taught you to find out why the pregnancy occurred. If you were self-taught or lost contact with your last instructor, find one.  Did you inaccurately apply a rule that shouldn't have been used?  Did you chart inconsistently?  Or, if the method was used perfectly, an instructor could counsel you on future rules to use, while also sending your chart to researchers to better perfect the method.  Whatever the reason for the failure, it will help you and your partner know why these things happened and to prepare for adjusted charting use in the future.

Instructors are trained to decipher charts, ask questions, and figure out a possible answer.  Do not feel silly, foolish, or shamed if they ask you personal questions: "Are you sure you did not use any barrier methods during your fertile time?" "If you took a chance with your fertile window, it's okay to tell me" "Because you got fertile at this time of your cycle, you should follow this rule next time."  They only say any of this to help you, not shame you! And if you feel belittled or disrespected by your instructor, feel free to drop them and find someone else. Some couples may even desire to change methods.

Pregnancy referrals are totally private and respect your information as confidential.  They can also give you an ease of mind once you figure out the "puzzle" of this surprise pregnancy!  So take advantage of your instructor's training and willingness to help for you and your spouse's sanity.

Seek help and support if you need it

Some parents are truly in a position where they need more assistance in preparing for the arrival and care of their next child.   Are you a student at a college/university?  Are one or both of you unemployed?  Are either of you struggling with a medical condition?  Was your relationship already on the rocks before the baby came?

Luckily, while not perfect, there are many resources available to parents (especially mothers) of unplanned pregnancies.  From teen moms to babies with disabilities to student parents: there is more than likely an organization for that.  For a list of these charities and organizations, check out the end of this post.  Hopefully you will find something that will be of help to your family!

You can also check out WIC programs in your state, and other such federal/state programs, and see which you can apply for. Most hospitals, birth centers, and independent midwifery practices can assist you with this.  And, if they are supportive, help from family and friends are always a bonus!  Ask a friend to set up a baby shower or postpartum party, where gifts are supplies you need for baby and after birth, or perhaps "coupons" for helping around the house as mom and dad settle after the birth.  Ask family if they have any old baby things you can use; or if friends also have children, ask them as well to pool together resources.  Consignment shops, thrift stores, and online buy/sell/trade groups are also popular for getting needed baby goods on the cheap.

Before I go on, I want to stress: there is nothing wrong in accepting help, whether from the government, a private organization, or your own family/friends.  The human species has survived for many reasons, one of them being our ability to care for and help one another.  Your priority is to care for your family, and only that.  The human species is indeed a human village: to act like you have to be totally independent is not only unnatural but also harmful.  Do not let this time be a time of shame, because there is nothing shameful in being human.

Learning to Trust NFP...Again.

Maybe this is the first time NFP has "failed" you.  (Or the third or more, for those rarer cases!) All these people supporting NFP and advocating for it are starting to make you bitter, or you are sick of hearing how NFP can help a marriage.  All you feel towards NFP is resentment, anxiety, etc.  For those who use NFP solely for religious reasons, it can feel like a true challenge to your faith. You really start to question NFP's supposed success rates.

First things first: NFP is accurate.  However, for whatever reason, you are part of that teeny failure rate.  Is it me?  You wonder?  Is it just too hard to deal with?  Is my body working against me?

In these previous two blog posts (X)(X), I went over why NFP can be hard, and how to overcome these obstacles.  You are not a bad person for struggling with NFP, or for not trusting it.  NFP can shine a huge, unwanted spotlight of ugly parts of our lives that demand hard changes to overcome them. With that on your heart and mind, take all the support you can get! And if you ever need guidance, always reach out for an instructor.

As mentioned before, you also have the option of switching methods. NFP has different options for charting, and each method has its own unique way of tracking one or more biological signs. Even a single method can have different variations of it as taught by differing NFP organizations. You can learn about different NFP providers and their options at naturalwomanhood.org, factsaboutfertility.org, and iusenfp.com. I offer classes myself for both SymptoPro's sympto-thermal method, and for Georgetown University's TwoDay method.

Resources for Pregnant Parents

getyourcare.org -- online directory of pregnancy centers, health clinics, and more

PregnantOnCampus.org -- online collection of help and resources for parenting students

babiesatwork.org -- an institute that is aiming to equip workplaces with support for parenting employees. If you worry about your rights as a pregnant or parenting worker, you can find out how to get support and perhaps even set up a baby at work program. This can be especially handy for those mothers who can't afford nor trust the local daycare options, or can not work from home.

WIC -- Government program that aids in supporting healthy diets for mothers and their children both during and after pregnancy. You can learn more at the USDA website: https://www.fns.usda.gov/wic/women-infants-and-children-wic

WomenShelters.org -- online directory of shelters, in case you feel unsafe with family because of your pregnancy

womendeservebetter.com -- feminist website that shares practical advice, resources, and success stories to inspire informed choices regarding the challenges of pregnancy

prenatalpartnersforlife.com -- support information and encouragement for mothers with babies who are deemed "incompatible with life" or "disabled"

sizecast.com -- a handy website about knowing what future clothing size to get for your baby/child!

Your local YMCA/library/church/etc -- many centers offer babysitting or other low-cost/free activities to keep children busy. They are also priceless resources in finding local help and connecting with people who can help you. Your prenatal care provider may even know some local groups to refer you to.

10 Things NFP Instructors Want You To Know

1) We are just as worried as you about unplanned pregnancies. Yes, pregnancies and children are blessings. Yes, there is nothing wrong with being pregnant, "accident" or not, because it is a normal consequence of intercourse.

BUT, that doesn't mean an unplanned pregnancy - especially if the couple was avoiding for serious reasons - comes without challenges. Our fear, then, is to fail our clients on a method they are supposed to trust. We are good and well trained at we do, and you bet we double and triple check everything before giving an answer or advice! Yet, humans make mistakes, and instructors are not exempt from that.

2) On that note: we mourn with our infertile couples too. Some of us struggle with infertility or pregnancy/child loss and know the pain; others (like me) have not, but still hurt seeing couples carry that burden. We fight for awareness of the struggle, we advocate for wholesome, effective treatments, and for understanding of this condition because of your pain. We see you, we stand by you, and we love you.

3) We hate difficult charts just as much as you do.  It's not that we can't "decipher" them: they're just a pain in the neck. More than likely, we've had a season in our life where charting was more like a chemistry lab final than a simple charting exercise. We know exactly how you feel, know why it stresses you out, and that's why we help...not that it makes it any more fun of course!

4) We hate that you have to abstain too. First off, it's not our jobs to tell you when or when not to have sex: only when you are or are not fertile (if you ask for our input). After that, it's up to you as a couple as to what to do with that information. But we try super hard to make your fertile window as short as possible within reason. Why? Because dealing with longer than usual abstinence can take it's toll. We know, we've been there, and we're doing our best to help with that.

5) We know too much about NFP for our own good. We literally can not shut up about NFP. Okay, we can, but it's our profession and passion! We collect literature and resources on fertility awareness and health, all so we can look at one person's chart and go, "Ah HA! So that's what's going on!"

6) We probably talk about the "gross stuff" (i.e., mucus or sperm) a little too much. Like at the dinner table. Or at a women's group meet up. Or at church. Or to that person you just met on the metro. Nothing much else to add, we just forget in our NFP fervor that sometimes, not everyone sees the topic as "conversation friendly" as we do!

7) Advocating for NFP can be exhausting and downright depressing. Medical professionals blowing you off? People decrying sexism when you point out the risks and side effects of birth control? People constantly spreading misconceptions on the method you were trained to teach and talk about? Yeah. It wears down any professional. Knowing that people get the options and help they need in the end is what keeps us going, even if it is still demoralizing at times.

8) We know NFP isn't perfect. This isn't just related to failure rates (even the best methods can fail for multiple reasons, natural or not): it relates to how NFP can put a big, ugly spotlight on the not-so-nice things about your relationship with your spouse. How NFP can demand the best of us when we feel we shouldn't have to. How charting through a health crisis can make you look at your charts as a damned reminder rather than a helpful tool. How it makes you want to tear up your charts and cry. We instructors know this, and thus desire to help you go through this season in you and your spouse's life!

9) We've "cheated" at charting too. You know, taking chances? Whether we do it for the thrill of "maybe a baby", or out of simple sexual frustration: we've done it too. So, don't feel ashamed if you come to us with charts that show timing of intercourse different from your stated family planning intentions! Chances are, some of us have the babies to prove it.

10) We would do it all over again. Give us a time machine and we would go through the ups and downs of not just using NFP, but of teaching it. Whatever hardships came our way were worth the fruits of our work: empowered, informed couples, helping marriages in rough seasons, and people appreciating their body as it was made.

Are you an NFP instructor? Is there something you would add to take away from the list?

Natural Family Planning: From Prehistory to Modern Times

Long before the development of the Pill -- seen as the biggest factor in women’s liberation and health -- the study of female fertility had made strides in understanding the menstrual cycle. Sadly, this history is overlooked precisely because of the industry surrounding artificial birth control, and because of this I wanted to share something that we should have made mainstream a long time ago.

Funnily enough, this particular article came about in my social sphere just a couple days after I began drafting for this post. Regarding the sexist and racist history of birth control development, it spurred me to work even harder on sharing NFP's long history of studying and refining our understanding of our natural, God-given fertility.

By contrasting the dark secrets of birth control history to that of NFP's enlightenment, I hope that it inspires women and couples who read this to reconsider their family planning and health options!

Prehistory

Prehistoric birth control is an under-appreciated topic, but we do have some clues as to what our foremothers and fathers used to space children. Aside from herbal abortions and alternative sex acts, families also heavily relied on breastfeeding. When breastfeeding is practiced a specific way (known as ecological breastfeeding), children can be spaced by as much as 3-5 years. This can be seen today in various hunter-gatherer societies, such as the !Kung people of Africa, or the Gainj tribe in Papua New Guinea. Breastfeeding itself is not fertility awareness, but it is likely that women saw the connection between frequent suckling of their infant/child, and their apparent inability to get pregnant.

As for objective observations of fertility signs: it is likely some societies at least understood the connection between the production of cervical mucus and pregnancy. Even today, grandmothers of the Bantu culture will teach their granddaughters about the role of the slippery secretions they make in bearing children, to better time intercourse for pregnancy.

While this specific piece of information may not have been of much use concerning pregnancy prevention, this awareness in itself was an ancient prologue to the charting of cervical mucus as we know it today. Slippery mucus = fertility.  Not just science, but also ancient wisdom!

Outside of cervical mucus, there was also the strong yet “mysterious” connection between menstruation and the ability to conceive. We often see this in cultures, both dead and alive, that celebrate a girl’s ascension into adulthood (and by default, the ability to reproduce) whenever she reaches Menarche (her first period bleed). It would make sense that our ancestors would have made this connection very early on, as is evidenced with various menstrual taboos and practices seen around the world today.

However, it would be many centuries before people better understood menstrual bleeding’s connection to female fertility and overall health, as well of that of cervical mucus and also breastfeeding.

Modern Times

Now we make a huge jump! After humans developed civilizations and gradually became more urbanized, much of our connection to our primal fertility was understandably lost. Interestingly enough, more in-depth studies of fertility -- especially that of women -- began in the 19th Century, during the Industrial Revolution. 

And even today, such study progresses. The mystery of the menstrual cycle and fertility has been uplifted, and NFP as we know it keeps getting better and better.

19th Century

1855 -- W. Tyler Smith observes that cervical mucus aids in transportation of sperm.

1868 -- J. Marim Sims first describes fertile cervical mucus as having an egg-white quality.

         -- Dr W. Squire also discovers that women have biphasic temperature patterns throughout their reproductive life, as does Dr. Mary Putnam Jacobi in 1876 (A biphasic temperature pattern is when low temperatures jump up and remain high until they drop down lower again around menstruation). However, no connection was given to ovulation.

20th Century

1905 -- Dutch gynecologist Hendrick Van de Velde discovers the connection between ovulation and the biphasic temperature pattern. He also notes that the time between ovulation and menstruation is almost always consistent, no matter the length of the rest of the menstrual cycle.

1923 -- Japanese doctor Kyusaku Ogino made the discovery that ovulation occurs at a relatively consistent time before a woman menstruates: meaning that menstrual periods only occurred once an egg was released.  This would lead to the development of the Calendar Rhythm Method, using past cycles to calculate future days of fertility in a woman’s cycle. (Dr. Hermann Knaus would also independently make this discovery in 1929)

1926 -- Previously mentioned, Van de Velde discovers even more details about the post-ovulation phase of the cycle (now called the luteal phase). He shows that the corpus luteum (the leftover sac that held the egg before ovulation) was responsible for causing the biphasic temperature change from low to high. He also observed the occurrence of cervical mucus and intermentstrual pain around the time of a thermal shift.

1929 -- Catholic priest and physician Fr. Wilhelm Hillebrand begins to develop a practical temperature-based method of fertility awareness for his parishioners to use in avoiding pregnancy. By 1935, he creates this new method by combining temperature-taking with Calendar Rhythm.

1930s -- Dr. Rudolf Vollman develops the “Mean Basal Body Temperature Rule”, a temperature-only method to determine when ovulation occurs.

1950s -- Dr. Jan Holt develops the concept of "the post-ovulation infertile time begins when there are three temps higher than the previous six lower ones."  Dr. Gerd Döring uses this new concept to create the "earliest Six Last Low" rule to use temperature taking as a way to determine the start of fertility as well as it's end within the menstrual cycle.

1951 -- Dr. Josef Roetzer develops the sympto-thermal method, which combines temperature taking and a crude version of mucus observation. He refines his mucus observation technique in 1965 and also incorporates the observation of vaginal sensation.

1952 -- Dr. MR Cohen develops a detailed schemata on mucus traits, and how they relate to the length of survival of sperm within the reproductive tract. This would later be used as a basis for the future mucus only method, the Creighton Model System.

1962 -- Dr. Edward Keefe publishes observations of cervical changes in relation to ovulation. This knowledge will later be refined by other NFP advocates and doctors including the Couple to Couple League, SERENA, and Dr. Josef Roetzer.

1968 -- British neurologist Dr. John Marshall does field trials of the temp shift along with other scientists (starting in the forties), but is the first to develop a practical and easy method that can be simple enough to use by the common couple to differentiate low temperatures from highs, indicating when the infertile luteal phase begins.

1969 -- Sheila Kippley publishes her book Breastfeeding and Natural Child Spacing. It delves into how ecological breastfeeding can delay the return of fertility after childbirth, and the parenting practices involved to make it happen.

1970 -- Dr. V. Insler published a system that would differentiate the varying types of cervical mucus a woman could observe in her cycle.

1971 -- The Couple to Couple League, a Catholic organization that teaches the sympto-thermal method, is founded by Sheila Kippley and her husband John Kippley. They publish their first book on the method the following year.

1973 -- Drs. John and Evelyn Billings, using a mucus rating system similar to that of Insler's, fully develop a mucus-only method of NFP called the Billings Method. Although this method came out in the 70s, they had been studying NFP since 1954.

1974 -- Louise Lacey publishes her book Lunaception, which goes over how one can use light elimination techniques to normalize the menstrual cycle in order to "make the rhythm method work". She also (inaccurately) incorporates the use of temperature-based and mucus-based methods as well, making it somewhat like the Calender-Thermal Method of the 30s but more complicated and inaccurate. Still, this was one of the earliest secular books written on natural alternatives to birth control.

1980 -- SymptoPro's instructional approach -- based on Dr. Roetzer's work -- is officially approved by the doctor himself. They had been teaching, with the doctor's permission, since 1977. (Also the organization that this blog author teaches through!)

1985 -- After studying the Billings method and forming the Creighton Model System of NFP in the late 70s, Dr. Thomas W. Hilgers opens the Pope Paul VI Institute. This establishment would be the starting point of developing medically and scientifically based alternatives to ART procedures and artificial birth control for women's health.

1990s -- Nurses and physicians at Marquette University develop a new system of NFP that utilizes hormonal fertility monitors (specifically, Clear Blue Easy) and mucus observations. Today it is known as the Marquette Method.

1995 -- Toni Weschler, MPH, would start a secular grassroots movement for fertility awareness when publishing her first edition of Taking Charge of Your Fertility. Today many non-Catholic NFP groups and movements point to her book as their inspiration or starting point, although her methodology is not as accurate.

21st Century

Around the second decade of the new millennium, many apps began coming out into the market relating to tracking periods and -- you guessed it -- charting menstrual cycles. Some predict fertility for you, some have the option of predicting it, and others are bonafide, digital charting. Most NFP organizations offer charting apps, or charting online, with a way to contact your instructor there should there be any questions.

Another great step forward with fertility awareness as a whole, was the development of fertility monitors. Clear Blue Easy is the most well-known brand for helping show when ovulation is approaching through hormone levels in urine, but as of late a few independent start ups have gone above and beyond that. I actually made a post here about the various fertility monitors on the market or those about to be. They go from simple to complex, and each are unique to what fertile sign they track and how.

The 21st Century has also seen the spread of pro-fertility medicine, such as Natural Procreative Technology (as developed by Dr. Hilgers); more women seek natural options for their reproductive health as well, seeking out the aid of herbalists, naturopathic doctors, Traditional Chinese Medicine, and more. Women want more than just artificial hormones, IVF, and hysterectomy to help them with their ailments and demand better care.  Organizations -- such as The Guiding Star Project, Natural Womanhood, and FACTS about Fertility -- help with the spread of these wholesome options that seek to nourish fertility and work with NFP as a diagnostic tool, rather than to override or belittle normal health.

It seems then, that our present is focused on sharing this knowledge and making it more accessible as well as working to make it the new normal. We have our NFP methods and ways to use it for health: now it's all about reminding people that these (much better) options exist!

The Future

From lactating and child spacing to using apps and fertility monitors to track our cycles, humanity has made large strides in recent history to better understand and even appreciate fertility. This has reached even the medical sphere, giving women truly wholesome and respectful healthcare whether for infertility treatment, or for overall body literacy. Also, as stated above, NFP advocacy is gaining ground and working hard to spread awareness of these amazing choices.

So where do we go from here? 

Personally, I believe the next step is not just to educate the adult masses: but to make NFP the cultural norm for future generations. NFP should be as well known as birth control; fertility awareness should be body literacy shared and encouraged in basic health education; doctors should know just as much about charting as they do about putting in an IUD.

From what I have experienced and seen, we need to start passing the torch not just to younger adult advocates, teachers, and doctors: but to our very children.  As we work to teach adults about their options, we must work so that the youth already know of these options once they are of reproductive age. Imagine a world where a teen girl can bring in a simple chart to her doctor for her check ups, where a teenage boy can understand how his own fertility is a huge responsibility in the act of pregnancy: where a man or woman living on their own for the first time already know what so many older adults today do not!

In short, humanity's future needs what NFP can offer: and NFP's future within humanity relies on people speaking up for this reality as a normal part of our culture.

We've got the know how, we've got the tech, and we've got the voice. Let's make some use of it.

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References

(Note: you may have to google some organizations mentioned as I did not find it necessary to link directly to them)

Books:

A Couple’s Guide to Fertility (Chapter Seven: Background Information)

Taking Charge of Your Fertility (Epilogue)

The NaProTechnology Revolution (Chapter 1: Dissent and Discovery)

Lunaception: A Feminine Odyssey

Breastfeeding and Natural Child Spacing

The Seven Standards of Ecological Breastfeeding

Prehistory of Sex

Studies:

Gainj Women and Child-Spacing

!Kung Women and Child-Spacing

Online Sources:

SymptoPro's History Page

Fertility Friend’s “A brief history of fertility charting”

The Development of Natural Family Planning

Trying to Whatever: What It Is And How You Can Practice It

In the NFP community, there are some interesting acronyms to describe a couple's family planning intention.  They include: TTA, TTC, and TTW.

When a couple is TTA (trying to avoid), they will time intercourse during their infertile time so that they will not get pregnant; for those who are TTC (trying to conceive), they time intercourse well within their most fertile days in order to have another baby. For these two intentions, it’s pretty cut and dry of when and how to time intercourse.  You either have sex during your fertile time....or you don't!

So what about those who are trying to whatever (TTW)?

For those who are neither for nor against another pregnancy, and wish to emulate that spirit, “letting them come as they may” is harder to practice at first.  When a couple has a good understanding of their fertility signs, how can they truly have intercourse whenever they want, without fully knowing if they will get pregnant?

There are different ways to accomplish a true TTW attitude, and what I share here is from my own experience and advice from others.  Don’t feel like what I write here is the end all be all of TTW practice!  Follow your gut and compare it to what you learn here and elsewhere in order to make your decision.

1. Don’t chart at all.  If you don’t have serious health-related reasons to chart, then why bother?  Don’t log into your charting app;  file away your paper charts; don’t check your cervical mucus and cervix position when you go to the bathroom; pack up your thermometer and/or ovulation predictor kit; in essence, ignore your body!  It may take getting used to if you have been charting diligently for so long, and it is not easy trying to push aside all you have learned about observing fertility.  But once you stop charting altogether, it will come to you more easily. And for those who always found charting to be a bother: this is probably the easiest thing you can do!
2. Chart, but bend the rules.  Perhaps you have a health-related reason to chart (such as being high risk for miscarriage), or you simply want to accurately predict the due date in case you do get pregnant.  If that is the case, you can still remain TTW while observing your fertile signs.  This can be done by not strictly following rules to TTA or TTC. You can achieve this by: having intercourse on days during your "less fertile" mucus days; not waiting until a few days after your last occurrence of fertile mucus to continue with intercourse; etc.  Although chances of a pregnancy occurring your your less fertile days is not big, they certainly are not small either!
3. Practice Psuedo-Charting.  If you want to do away with strict charting but still have an idea of when you ovulated (in order to predict a more accurate due date in case you get pregnant), then you can chart lazily!  Perhaps this means only charting one fertile sign instead of many (if you practice STM or Marquette), not detailing the specific traits of your cervical mucus if you do Creighton or Billings, or jotting down general notes on your fertile signs onto a notepad instead of having a clear chart telling you what’s what.  In essence, make your charting as simple and basic as possible, to where you have a vague idea of when you are fertile, but nothing is certain.
4. Space pregnancies with breastfeeding ONLY.  Ecological breastfeeding, if followed properly, can be a great way to space pregnancies without having to chart.  Some women who breastfeed will pay attention to any signs of returning fertility so that they can chart, await ovulation, and avoid intercourse when necessary.  However, other women may not pay attention to any fertile signs at all and thus do not abstain, making them TTW.  They ecologically breastfeed and that’s that! Some pregnancies are spaced by a few years, others a little less than a year. It varies in length, but it gives the couple the option of spacing children without having to chart and thus not knowing when they are or are not fertile.

Additional Tip: Just because you go TTW one cycle, doesn't mean you are obligated to stay that way another. If you don't get pregnant and find that you wish to go TTC or TTA, then by all means: switch intentions! The beauty of NFP is that you can always change your mind (though if you change to TTA after becoming pregnant during TTW/TTC, it's a bit late for that).

TTW is certainly a unique intention that has the possibility of charting, sort of charting, or not charting at all. It gives couples a sense of surprise as to whether or not they will have another child every cycle that comes, and for others it's simply a relief from charting when they don't feel the need to be that serious about it anyway.

If you and your spouse decide that being strictly TTA or TTC is not your thing, give TTW a try.  Hopefully any one of these pointers can help you decide how to accomplish that!

"Is NFP hard to use?" Part 2

In Part 1, I listed situations in which NFP would be difficult to practice.  While learning about fertility awareness itself is possible for any person of any education level and background, life circumstances such as level of support or the state of one's marriage could present possible road bumps. 

Today, I will speak on how to overcome such road bumps, either by preventing them from happening, or dealing with them head on. 

How can these NFP difficulties be prevented or dealt with?

There are many ways to handle the hard parts of using NFP.  It depends on the support you have, are willing to find, and knowing how to resolve any issues that come up.  Of course there will be times where life will be hard no matter what you do to prevent it in the first place, or how you deal with it in the moment, but hopefully knowing how to deal with them with charity can prevent total meltdowns!

• Initially learning the method

Learn NFP ASAP!!! If you recently got engaged, sign up NOW.  Do not wait until a few months before the wedding night: do it a full year (or at least six months) before the settled wedding date.  This will give the man and woman ample time to figure out their method, switch methods if they have to, and be comfortable with charting rules once the time comes to use it.  Also, they won’t have to face as much abstinence at the beginning of marriage.  This is because the more you chart, the more information you garner on your menstrual patterns; the information gathered from cycles’ worth of data can offer the option of other rules that shorten the fertile window.

Even if you are single, at the very least just get yourself an NFP book if you don't want to pay for a class.  Charting now gives you more confidence and information for the future.  And once you get a partner: you can teach them a thing or two yourself. ;)  Your confidence will rub off on them eventually, and they will grow to accept it once they see your comfort in charting.

If you are already married, then the sooner you learn the better.  Find an instructor and get started asap.  While learning, never be afraid to ask for help or clarification on anything that confuses you. Instructors will be more than happy to help! And trust me, we don't want you to abstain more than you have to either, we will do anything we can to help how we can.

If you feel that your instructor is not doing what they can to help you, or is disrespectful in anyway, you can find another instructor or even a new method.  It will be hard at first, but in the long run: it's worth it.  You and your spouse deserve professional help.

Also be sure to include both spouses in learning, as learning NFP is less of a burden when it is a team effort.  All NFP organizations offer special payment packages for learning couples and will be cheaper than learning alone anyway. 

Lastly, do your kids a favor: teach them about charting as teenagers, so they will already be knowledgeable and confident in the effectiveness of fertility awareness.  They won’t walk into class as skeptical, worried adults, but educated and ready to learn the rules. By no means should teenagers learn how to use charting as a method of birth control, but when they learn how to chart for health reasons, it can ease transition into using it as a method of family planning.

• Implementing NFP into one’s lifestyle

If you are the only couple you know that uses NFP, or even if your spouse is hostile towards NFP, it can be pretty lonely being an NFP user.  No one is supporting you; listening to your worries and concerns without ridicule; high-fiving you when you figure out a tricky cycle; no one.

It can be rough: but thanks to social media, it can be at least a little easier to go through.  There are numerous forums and facebook groups for women/men who use NFP.  Some may have a specific audience, such as those who are struggling to conceive, those who use a specific NFP method, or those who are religiously motivated to use NFP.  There, questions are posted and answered, charts shared, and even some instructors are there to voice their opinion on a concern you have.  You can search for them and see which ones seem to fit you best.

With a stubborn spouse, you will have to go beyond trying to find a supportive NFP community (though it does help).  Depending on the reason for their hostility towards NFP and its severity, helping them turn around could mean simply taking them to an NFP instructor to ask questions, or going straight to a marriage counselor to work out communication issues that are impairing efforts to use NFP together.

Most loving, open spouses are willing to at least hear out your reasoning for using NFP.  Many are skeptical out of genuine concern about effectiveness, and clearing up their misconceptions, along with involving them in charting, is enough to settle most concerns.  This can be done by speaking with a certified instructor, giving them NFP materials to read, or even sharing a list of studies supporting the method’s effectiveness.

However, sometimes hostility towards NFP is related to marital troubles outside the bedroom.  This relates mainly to communication problems: especially if they do not like the idea of abstaining.  If trying to talk about NFP or anything else only leads to fights and arguments, then seek out counseling.  Hopefully, using NFP can open an opportunity for the two spouses to finally practice and utilize communication skills that can help them forge a stronger relationship.

• Practicing NFP faithfully/Charting consistently

As I have said before: it takes only minutes of your day to observe your signs and note them down on your chart by the end of it.  However, to overcome some practical charting nuances, you can check out a previous post of mine about the topic: When Charting becomes a Drag: Making NFP Easier to Chart.

Easier charting does not guarantee all your problems are resolved: but it can help with lightening the burden at least a little.

• Accepting NFP as a Catholic

This is something that, no matter how well read you make someone on Catholic beliefs, will not guarantee that someone will accept it (You can lead a horse to water...).  It is, after all, a matter of the heart and soul, not necessarily the mind.

Prayer and living by example are called into place.  If your spouse is outright hostile towards NFP and the "Catholic-ness" behind it, then you pray for your patience and their understanding.  And, of course, if needed, seek counseling to address other marital issues that could be contributing to the strain.

If you yourself struggle with NFP, then challenge yourself: use NFP, and nothing but NFP, and pray, pray pray!  Read up on all the NFP resources you can.  Find NFP communities for support.  Find an instructor to help you with charting.  Find God in a quiet place, tell Him you are trying, and truly, without hesitation: use nothing but NFP.

Of course, not all couples who use NFP are Catholic, or even religiously motivated or pressured to use it.  That doesn't mean non-Catholic users are without moral or philosophical reasons to practice NFP.  Perhaps you are committed to being eco-friendly, or have serious health reasons that restrict your options in birth control.  Some advocate for fertility awareness in general, and see using NFP as part of a revolution to improve women's health care. 

If this or other reasons are what encourage you to use NFP, whether you are Catholic or not, then remind yourself of them everyday.  Write up a list of them if you have to, and put it up where you can read it!  Surround yourself with the positive aspects of NFP, and stand up for them when it is questioned.  You have every right to be passionate/supportive of your method.

• Using NFP when dealing with a serious reason to avoid pregnancy and Pressure from oneself, their partner, or others to fear NFP as unreliable

Some couples are confident with NFP's effectiveness, and are careful to strictly follow the rules for avoiding pregnancy.  They could have the most serious reason in the world to avoid pregnancy, but they do not fear it.  They mutually agree with using NFP and accept it's effectiveness: such a unity in family planning gives them the confidence and respect needed to use NFP without fear or anxiety.

But there are other couples who have that anxiety-ridden fear of becoming pregnant.  Perhaps they struggled with NFP before, or they face incredible pressure from their doctor and others to get sterilized.  They are constantly bombarded with pressure from within and without to fear pregnancy and to avoid it at all costs.  Other times pressure comes from the spouse themselves, because of a previous failure, dissatisfaction with the NFP lifestyle, or other reasons.

When you live in a culture that constantly misrepresents NFP's effectiveness and doubts your ability to use it, especially when you have a serious reason to avoid -- it builds up.  This is doubly so for those who experienced surprise pregnancies with NFP.  In order to protect your marriage relationship, and your trust in using NFP, there are ways to ease up on the fear: contact your instructor to guide you through every cycle if necessary! They know what will work for you, and will want to help you as much as they can.

In the future, I will post about how to utilize NFP in such a scenario in greater detail, and your choices involved. However, when dealing with actual anxiety over pregnancy, you will have to take it a step further.  Counseling will possibly be needed if it truly interferes with your everyday life and relationships: especially if your spouse is hostile towards NFP as well.

Also, if pestering from family/friends and doctors do not help with this anxiety, then step up to the plate and bluntly tell them, "I am using NFP, and that's that. I have made my educated decision. You can either support my spouse and I, or keep your opinions to yourselves." If it continues otherwise, simply change the subject when it is brought up or even walk out of the situation. Make it clear that their fear-mongering is not tolerated by refusing to take part in it.

Is that all?

No, it isn't. Sometimes, even with these tips in mind, life circumstances can bring you five steps back after three steps forward. Using NFP is practically a lifestyle, and one that is challenging to maintain if you receive roadblocks that stop you from enjoying its benefits. I do not pretend that this post along will solve all your problems!

But it needs to be shared in order to get couples off to the right start. Overtime, the both of you will discover what works for you and what doesn't, and perhaps it leads you to do more research elsewhere. Whatever the case, you CAN overcome these obstacles!  It may be hard and long, but it can be done.

Never hesitate to reach out for help. NFP may be straightforward, but it is not always easy. Hopefully what I share here can help someone somewhere and lead them to a better experience.

"Is NFP hard to use?" Part 1

While advocating for the use of fertility awareness -- whether as a family planning method through Natural Family Planning or simply to use as a first step into taking charge of one’s health -- I have been both politely questioned and harshly critiqued on my assertions that NFP is not incredibly hard.

And in a way, I still believe this.  You don’t need a medical degree (or heck, even a high school diploma!) to learn about the menstrual cycle and human fertility, and how to apply this knowledge in charting.  Tribal peoples, who are illiterate and have concepts of science and the world vastly different from us, have been taught to use variations of NFP quite successfully.  If they can internalize it, then just about anyone can if they wish to make the effort.

Besides, you hear it ALL the time from NFP advocates that NFP is easy to use, right?  Go to any fertility awareness website, and you are bombarded with images of energized, healthy women at peace with the world.  More often than not, they are at the beach, or in the middle of a green field, at one with themselves and Sister Nature.

Still, that doesn’t mean NFP is a breeze in the park as a whole or for everyone.  And it makes sense: it’s not just a family planning method, it’s a mode of awareness and a lifestyle choice.  It still requires much commitment and time to learn your method efficiently, and in some situations or circumstances, NFP can be very demanding.  Just as there are the pros, there are the cons, some much more troublesome than others, depending on the person and their circumstances.

I hope to go over these points that discuss the “not so easy” side of NFP, so that people wanting to learn more about NFP (especially for religious reasons) can get an honest picture before they find these things out the hard way.  Then, they can be better prepared and know how to prevent or handle these hardships.

First, a disclaimer: I will be going over NFP only, not the Fertility Awareness Method (FAM), which allows the use of barrier methods or alternative sex acts during the fertile time.  Not that FAM has no downsides whatsoever because of that, but because much of the “hard stuff” involving NFP are hard because of the abstinence-only rule for pregnancy avoidance.

“How can NFP be hard?”

NFP can be hard for a variety of reasons, based on the following:

• Initially learning the method

Let’s be honest: if you grew up in your 20-30+ years of life and never once learned an ounce about what fertility awareness teaches, NFP will take some commitment to understand.

Some people jump into the classes eagerly, having a natural desire to learn and understand their bodies.  However, there might be others who learn begrudgingly because it is required for Marriage Preparation, or because a partner pestered them to try it out.  This stubbornness itself may block out information they would otherwise retain, or cause unneeded strife for their spouse who wishes to learn.

They also have to take time out of their day to spend a few hours at a class, and then take two more classes over the course of a month; or maybe they go to a seminar over the weekend that they may need to travel for (classes vary among NFP organizations).  Then, they have to spend many months afterwards getting used to their method and turning in charts to their instructors. 

And the payment?  Some classes are quite affordable, or allow access to financial aid; others may be quite expensive and additional payment needed for future follow ups.  It all depends on the method you go for and the instructor you go to.  If money is constantly brought up, it could cause more stress than needed.

The last problem may be having a poor instructor.  Perhaps they are condescending, or do nothing to help their clients better understand their method.  Perhaps they are simply overbearing, and clients feel like a burden for asking them for help.  This is a horrible relationship to have with an instructor when you are first learning, as it bars you from growing into your method.

• Implementing NFP into one’s lifestyle

Observing your fertile signs, at the most, should only take a few minutes out of your day.  Charting them down at the end of a day takes only seconds.  And with new apps for charting on the market, charting is now more visually appealing, as well as making traveling with charts much easier to handle.

However, what if someone is new to a method and is confused on what to do?  What if they simply can NOT get the hang of the subtle differences in cervical mucus in their own particular pattern? On top of that, some women simply forget to chart, or to check for their fertile signs.

And this goes beyond mere charting.  NFP involves the willingness to abstain during the fertile time, and to have both husband and wife openly communicate about their family planning intentions, sexuality, and all that entails.  Couples who have deep rooted issues that prevent this from working smoothly will either see this lifestyle change as an opportunity to amend the marriage strife, or as a reality bomb blowing up in their face.

• Practicing NFP faithfully/Charting consistently

This somewhat ties into the lifestyle change.  It truly only takes a few minutes each day to chart, and can be done as a part of one’s evening or bedtime routine; still, for some, it simply doesn’t click. 

I myself do not fully understand it as well, as after getting over the initial hurdles and learning some “short cuts”, charting became second nature to me.  However, I have noticed a trend: those who are very serious about avoiding pregnancy tend to be vigilant charters.  Those who don’t see pregnancy as being a big deal, on the other hand, may slack in their charting as they don’t feel as much pressure to chart.  I have gone through both mindsets myself!

A third group, however, who are serious about avoiding pregnancy but still struggle with charting everyday, are people who are simply stressed out.  This is especially true if only the woman has the sole responsibility of charting and deciphering her fertile signs.  The husband is not involved at all, and all the pressure to use the method correctly is on the wife.

When this happens, the man becomes bitter with his wife for telling him “no” on fertile days, and the woman becomes bitter to her husband for having to do all the work.  When there is this strife, charting is much more of a mountain climb than a stroll in the park!

• Accepting NFP as a Catholic

As a Catholic NFP instructor, I sometimes get called a hypocrite for defending the procreative aspect of sex, while teaching people how to time intercourse for the infertile time to avoid pregnancy.  Some people, going through intense and even life-threatening health crisis, outright attack Church teaching on sexuality and demand that changes be made for couples who experience such struggles.

This is one that can not be simply fixed with a few charting tricks/short cuts, or lead back to sanity by a competent instructor.  This is something that requires a willingness to learn, to pray, and to open communications with between the spouses, God, and Church documents on the Catholic faith. 

That is something not every person is open too, or at the very least, not open to learning and understanding more without kicking and screaming.  It is a matter of the heart that takes time to accept. 

And if the heart isn’t into it, it will be a struggle to truly accept and use NFP.

• Using NFP when dealing with a serious reason to avoid pregnancy

This one is the hardest to face, in my opinion.  In cases such as these, pregnancy is a very real fear, and it shouldn’t have to be.  Yet, the couple finds themselves facing extreme poverty, or a medically dangerous pregnancy, if they should conceive a child.

Now, in extreme cases such as this, you can be assured NFP will work, given that strict guidelines are followed.  However, that doesn’t stop the nagging fear and anxiety that creeps into the mind of those who are avoiding for very serious reasons.  This is especially true if conflicting schedules, the care of older children, postpartum irregularity, and over-conservative observance of charting rules lead to more abstinence than is necessary.

Add on pressuring doctors to get sterilization, the mounting sexual and marital frustration, or misguided friends urging you to drop NFP, and you get yourself a couple on edge.

• Pressure from oneself, their partner, or others to fear NFP as unreliable

Modern society is absolutely horrible when it comes to fully understanding fertility awareness based methods. So-called “women’s health” organizations and magazines snub their articles at NFP/FAM, claiming that it’s not reliable and especially not for women with irregular cycles.  They then end their garbage fest with, “And here’s how you can use the Pill/IUD/condom”, with a Planned Parenthood certified OB/GYN to sign it all off as “accurate”.

However, it’s easy enough to correct these articles in the comments section, and rely on more accurate info from fertility awareness organizations.  But it’s another thing when you hear this drivel from your own family and friends -- especially your own spouse!

After starting to use NFP, they stare at you from afar, just waiting for you to get pregnant and then ask you why you couldn’t have just used a condom.  No matter how many times you try to explain to them what you learned in class about cervical mucus and basal body temperature and ovulation and sperm production, all they keep repeating is, “But the Rhythm Method doesn’t work!”

And such rejections are even harder to deal with when coming from your own significant other.  Some are more stubborn than others, and do not care how many scientifically-backed studies on NFP you show them: it’s nothing but “hippie bullshit”, or “the inaccurate Rhythm Method”.  They think it will mean months of abstinence and then getting pregnant anyway once you DO have sex.

This gets worse if they refuse to learn the method with you, and want no part in charting.  They only make things more difficult yet want to blame it solely on the method or even their spouse.

With these hardships in mind, how can these problems be lessened or even done away with?

NFP will always present a challenge at some point in one’s life, and they can not be avoided indefinitely.  This is the reality of any family planning method. However, there are still ways a couple can lessen these issues and avoid unnecessary stress, or at the very least deal with them with a level head should they occur.

Next week, I will share information on how to accomplish this.  In the meantime, do you have any insights to the problems presented here?  Feel free to let me know!

Why I use and continue to use Natural Family Planning...

The following post is very personal, and is a big step for me in sharing my inner most experiences with NFP.  Please note that I only speak for myself, and not for others.  This is only a commentary on my reasons for using NFP, not other NFP users or even an attack on women who use artificial methods of birth control.

I hope by sharing this with you, you can gain an understanding as to why some people like me go to NFP and implement it into their lifestyle.

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Why I use, and continue to use, NFP!

Hormonal birth control makes me queasy.  The Pill was not a determining factor for me choosing NFP as my method of family planning; in fact, I have never used any hormonal method.  However, there is no denying that I don’t like hormonal birth control and non-hormonal IUDs, and am SO glad a natural, effective alternative exists. Even when I was a young girl, years away from being Catholic and not knowing the controversy of the Pill, I’ve always wanted to be as natural as possible, and messing with my body was on the list as well.  I was often teased as a tree hugger by my family for it! I still remember sitting there thinking during Pill commercials, “Are periods so bad you would only want them four times a year?  How is messing with your cycle supposed to be healthy?  I feel like I would get sick on it.”  Just the thought of ingesting synthetic hormones or placing a foreign object into my uterus makes me sick to my stomach.  I accept how my body was made and I plan on respecting that.

Barrier methods don't make for great sex.  I've tried a barrier method before with my husband...and we didn't like it.  At all.  I won't go into more detail of the what, when, and why, but simply put: I'm never going back.  We've used it multiple times in our past and all it did was make us anxious.  We had to be mentally aware of it at all times, we had to prepare for sex, sex had to be stopped if something was wrong...yeah.  It was a no go.  All it did was make sex a battle instead of a moment of bonding.  NFP, admittedly, requires abstinence: but the sex outside of that abstinence?  It's great!  We go with the flow and never have to worry about whether we are using the barrier correctly.  It's all natural, and without the fear of a mishap involved.

NFP saves me money.  Admittedly, NFP may have an upfront, pricey cost.  However, the price to learn NFP varies depending on whether you get financial help to learn, self-teach through an affordable book and thermometer, and so on.  When I first started learning NFP, my husband was going hungry just so I would have enough to eat to nourish myself and provide breastmilk for the baby.  It cost no more than 20ish dollars to buy a book, thermometer, and charting app.  Had I gone on the Pill, my husband would have had to add on even MORE monthly payments, or had to provide a hefty co-payment for an IUD.  And while condoms and other barriers are cheaper, they still add up over the years; not to mention, the cheaper they are, the less effective they become.  Instead, we charted successfully with just a book to teach us, and once we had the money, we spent $130 to pay for a class with a SymptoPro instructor online.  I will be using NFP until I hit menopause, meaning I will have spent ~150 dollars for my family planning method. That's me using an effective method that will last me decades, and under $200!

Because I like knowing what my body is up to.  I can’t tell you how far-off I felt from my periods as a teen.  I had to make a calculated guess based on calenders and there would always be a week and a half period of time where I would carry around pads in my backpack or purse, worried about when I would finally start bleeding.  I would mistakenly think that my vaginal discharge was just my body dumping out waste from my vagina, so I considered it a “dirty” part of my cycle.  It made me feel dirty.  But now, I can usually pinpoint the exact day my period will arrive, and I know that my “discharge” is healthy cervical mucus, telling me of my returning fertility.  I know when to expect PMS, when to avoid certain trigger foods, etc.  Had I had this knowledge at my finger tips in high school, I would be a lot less stressed out.

I like being flexible with my fertility.  NFP can be used to not just prevent pregnancy, but also help achieve it when desired.  And honestly, my heart is pretty quick to change wishes.  My husband and I agree to approach the topic of a new pregnancy in the future, but who’s to say we won’t change our minds next cycle, or even this cycle?  Life circumstances can change in the blink of an eye, and I want my family planning method to keep up with the craziness that is our life together.

My body is a wilderness and I want to keep it that way. I have always viewed my body as a precious creation of God, equal to that of the sprawling forests or expansive oceans.  We see the damage done to the wild through man attempting to control it for menial reasons; why should I limit my own body the same way?  It is a lush, warm, natural Temple of God, an intricate part of myself that I can’t fathom putting under the control of synthetic hormones.  And the body of my husband is the same: I can’t imagine making love to him with a man-made sheath between us.  He has his own temple that I wish to explore and I don’t want a part of him missing when we are together so intimately.

Speaking of the wilderness: NFP is eco-friendly!  Condoms cause deforestation (for those made of rubber) and clutter landfills (or even your local sidewalks...yuck).  Pills have been shown to pollute local waterways and rivers, and causing infertility in fish populations.  Contraceptives as a whole keep being remade to keep with demands, causing pollution and waste like nobody’s business.  NFP, however, has much less of a carbon footprint, so to speak.  Thermometers create waste, but only need to changed out every ten years, and batteries can be recycled.  More and more people are using online/electronic charting apps, cutting down on usage of paper and pens.  And not only that, but NFP is hormone-free! (Also, spacing pregnancies through breastfeeding cuts down on the waste produced by using formula).

Worse Case Scenario: I can still use NFP to my benefit.  Imagine that the civilized world as we know it is turning upside down.  Zombies maybe?  Or extensive war?  Or perhaps a totalitarian government steps in and decides that women don't deserve access to their choice of birth control.  Whatever the worst case scenario, it may end up with women not having reliable and safe access to a family planning method.  Well, as Hannah Ransom says on her own blog:

In addition to being so important as a fertility sign because [cervical fluid] can both open and close your fertile time, it’s also important for one other reason: It’s 100% completely your own.

You require absolutely no outside input in order to accurately determine when you are fertile.

I don’t know if it’s just the little person inside of me that likes to imagine the worst case scenario, but I can imagine some instances where birth control is taken away from women completely (or very difficult to access). If that happens, you always have your cervical fluid. They can’t take that away from you.

Worst case scenario: you always have your body and the signs it gives you about the comings and goings of your fertility.  No zombie apocalypse or dictatorship can take away your own fertile signs!

God knew what He was doing when He created the female body, and I trust Him on that.  Our Creator -- who knows every single hair on our head, hears and remembers our every breath, of whom the birds and oceans and even the smallest creatures sing of His Glory, who molded our very essence from the earth that proclaims His Greatness -- is not a neglectful engineer.  He had the needs of us women in mind when He designed our menstrual cycles, and lactating breasts, to help us manage family size naturally, whatever that size may be.  Unfortunately we live in a world cursed by sin, meaning some women suffer from menstrual-related illnesses, or go through difficulties in breastfeeding, a deviation from God’s original design.  Yet, the knowledge of the female body and human fertility through NFP can be utilized in our medical care, and can still be used as a method of family planning reliably!  God isn’t a fool, and my trusting of His craft of the female menstrual cycle is the farthest thing from foolish.

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So, there you have it.  Why I use and haven't given up using NFP.  I hope you gained something from this and better understand why I would use and even promote this method!